motherhood | two years

This kid. He’s two years old today and he LIGHTS UP MY LIFE. And I’m not saying it in that ‘having kids is so much fun’ kind of way, because trust me, I’m the first person to be sceptical when I hear anyone say that having kids is awesome fun because (a) it’s not and (b) you’re lying and (c) if you’re not lying then shut up, I hate you. But honestly, Sam at two is just a complete pleasure. 95% of the time.

Ever since That Horrid Sleep Regression, he’s blossomed into such a little person that I almost dare say that if (and it’s a BIG if) that was the catalyst for him becoming such a wonder, the pain would have almost been worth it.

Wait a minute, what the f*** am I saying? Nothing – NOTHING – is worth that pain. Not even this cute face chugging down his mango smoothie.

But seriously, over the past few months, his vocabulary has grown exponentially and we have real conversations with him, albeit some conversations get repeated a few dozen times before we move onto the next topic. But it doesn’t matter because when you’ve lived with a blob who either doesn’t understand you or you don’t understand them for so long, simply understanding what they want – and them understanding what you’re saying – is just absolutely amazing.

My favourite time with Sam is in the evenings. After putting Sofi down, Sam and I cuddle under his blanket and read a few books before bed. I hug him tight and he tries to wiggle out. I plant kisses on his cheeks and he wipes them away. I don’t care though. I’m that mum who’ll most likely be smooching him smack on the face when he’s 30 and he’ll still be wiping them away. Get used to it, buddy!

But he enjoys this time too. I think he knows that at this time, he has my undivided attention and we both revel in it, we make it last as long as we can. That is, until my tired body gives out and I say goodnight before I pass out on his ridiculously comfortable bed.

I cherish my time with him so much these days. Since the arrival of Sofi, my 1:1 Sam time has dwindled. But he’s the most adorable big brother ever. He constantly wants to touch her! Much to my dismay usually because she’s sleeping goddammit. But it’s so cute. If she’s still sleeping when he’s up he’ll go get a bunch of soft toys and put them in her bassinet. Super cute but yeah yeah, SIDS risk etc so they don’t stay in there. And recently he’s taken to kissing her. I love it.

So my baby boy is now two years old. Where did the time go? He’s growing so quick and every day I catch glimpses of a big boy, not a toddler, and soon he’ll be that boy. I kind of want to capture our time in a capsule and bury it. It’s almost a shame that as a mother of a newborn I’m living my days in a haze because I feel like if I don’t stop and concentrate and really pay attention and drink it all in, these days will just fly by and before I know it, he will be 6 feet tall and leaving the nest.

In the mean time, let me still just enjoy his pudgy little toddler feet.

ps. So that’s 95% of the time. The other 5% he spends practicing his terrible twos, which is basically just irrationality on steroids. The battle of wills is a tough one. Pity for him he has a very stubborn mother.

pps. If you want to read my other posts about Sam growing up, here they are: the first six months, nine months, 12 months, 18 months, 18 month sleep regression.