I have a theory about something. Actually I have millions of theories about a squidadlion things (sheesh, that’s a new word even for me) but don’t ask me about them because well, I won’t ever stop telling you.

Take Panu for example. He asked me about one of my theories once and look what happened, he’s now chained to me and I even followed him across the hemisphere because people, if you find someone who listens to your outrageous theories, you hang onto them. Tight.

But anyway, I’m gonna share one of my theories with you. It’s about chocolate. And love. And the fact that chocolate has nothing to do with love.

People (mostly women, but let’s say “people”) have purported to love chocolate for as long as… as there were cocoa beans, I gather. I think you know how it goes, we all know a whole lotta people who gush “oh I loooove chocolate!” at the sight of a bar, a truffle, a slice of cake or anything remotely brown.

But you’re wrong people. Wrong. You don’t “love” chocolate. It’s lust.

You lust chocolate, and I say this because I mean really, you don’t want to gently, carefully wrap your chocolate up and take it home and look after it forever and ever? Or do you? *raised eyebrows*… If you do, that’s some other issue.

What you want is to eat that chocolate. You want that goddamn velvety piece of chocolate in your mouth right now, the rich, creamy, adulterously toe-curling texture of opulent chocolate melting between your lips and across your tongue.

That’s right. You do not want to cuddle it and make sure it feels better.

So, chocolate and lust. Now that we’ve confirmed that that’s the correct partnership, let’s talk about Chocolate & Love, who’ve ~ bless them ~ obviously got their name wrong.

Established by two avid chocolate lusters who believe that “good chocolate should be part of everyone’s life”, Chocolate & Love brings together top quality award-winning chocolates from around the world and delivers them straight to you, a novice chocolate luster.

Their flavours are sophisticated, enticing, delicate yet powerful and utterly grown up, as in, very much not like the speckled Easter eggs I was eating last week.

Everything about their chocolate is utterly lusty, including the names:

  • The Coffee Affair ~ organic dark chocolate with coffee
  • Filthy Rich ~ organic extra dark chocolate
  • Nirvanabar ~ organic dark chocolate
  • Crushed Diamonds ~ organic dark truffle chocolate with cocoa nibs
  • Orange Mantra ~ organic dark chocolate with natural orange oil

Ok so Orange Mantra doesn’t sound so lusty but doesn’t it make you think of tantric sex? Just a little bit?

My favourite flavour has got to be Crushed Diamonds because I like a bit of texture in my chocolate but mainly because Diamonds! Cocoa nibs are the most valuable part of the cocoa bean and these babies, they are priceless. I just want it. Now.

Lustfully, sinfully, badly.

Like someone brilliantly wise once said, “Forget love. I’d rather fall in chocolate!”

11 Thoughts on “chocolate. what’s love got to do with it?

  1. What other chocolate does it compare to, Catty? Is it creamy/waxy? I haven’t seen this one before. Always up for trying out a new chocolate bar!

  2. damn you, now i have the stupid song in my head. but i do love you & chocolate has nothing to do with it. altho, you could send me a couple of bars if you so desire 😛

  3. You’re perfectly right about the lust/love equation of course.
    And to think, I was feeling rather smug at chocolate coma-ing in Die Schweiz while all along you had your mitts on all this. Hmph.

  4. Greedy Diva: I’d say it’s more waxy than creamy but it’s seriously so rich that if it was creamy it would probably be too much.

    Ying: Haha and I’m sure you’d love me more 😉

    Sasa: Well, I think your Swiss chocolate would have totally been more coma-worthy! This is quite yummy too though! 🙂

  5. I seriously LUST these. I want the Filthy Rich chocolate, like now. Where do you find these stuff Catty. U’re a food archaeologist about Londontown i swear.

  6. Your theories rock hon! I hope you have a wonderful holiday sweety xx

  7. yummy! i think ill go out to the shops and get some chocolate… i dont keep any at work otherwise id be constantly nibbling on it!

  8. diva: Oh the filthy rich is FILTHY RICH you probably would have loved it! A tad too dark for me!

    Mowie: I will! Leaving tonight 🙂 Will see you when I get back 🙂 x

    betty: You totally need a snack drawer at work!

  9. Pingback: The One With The Chocolate (and Love) | Journal of a Rock Angel

  10. Hey man, I’m just browsing the networks to find some information and attained your page. I am striked by the posts that you own on this blog. It shows how good you understand this subject. Bookmarked this page, will get back for further. You, buddy, ROCK and ROll!!!

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  11. Lala on July 14, 2010 at 3:41 pm said:

    Hey Catty,
    I just stumbled upon your website! Cool reviews and love your pics. I’m with you on being a chocolate ‘luster’. The darker the better. I came across these guys at the Taste Edinburgh and London festivals. Yeh they know there stuff about all things chocolate… I tried the Crushed Diamonds too. The first time is so memorable, and there’s been a lot more since then! Really amazing texture. Filthy Rich- what a great name! They had all sorts of different brands too, not just their own…Most are Organic & Fairtrade which is always cool. I kinda look out for that now.
    I’m hooked. http://www.chocolateandlove.com if you need your fix.

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